Understanding the word no.

What mother really wants to say no to their child? I mean maybe it's just new mothers or maybe it's just me! But when my daughter is misbehaving or running(crawling) around getting into things I can't help but fear that word no a bit more then her. Mind you, she is nearly 10 months old and she is just beginning to understand what the word "no" means. And followed by my rather "mean mommy" attempts to say "no! Lily don't do that!" are the sobs and very irresistible lip pout. How am I to resist picking my daughter up after she unintentionally makes me feel quilty?

Quite frankly it saddens me to say no for several reasons. One being, the fact that she will soon learn to say this word to me, meaning I can kiss authority good bye. Not really but it will be hard to turn that table around.
Second reason is of course that face that many parents find hard to resist. Every time I tell my daughter "no", I find myself picking her up. She grips me tightly and has a grin on her face saying, "I win". Which she indeed did because I had given in.
Today however I tried a new and surprisingly affective approach on trying to instill this "no" meaning for my daughter. Instead of stating just the word in a firm manner, I say it nicely while keeping my emotions on my face strictly "caring". It sounds silly but Lily actually listened and crawled away from the toy laughing! It may have worked or may not have, though I think I will continue to do this method and see how things go!

Until next time!

Natalie

Cloth diapers

Being a Young single mother, my daughter wasn't born into wealth. I've had to make personal sacrifices for her several times, EVERYDAY. One of the current sacrifices I make is cloth diapering.

You ask: why is this a sacrifice? Well I'll tell you but first I'll tell you why I cloth diaper Lily.

1) Cheap! Some families save over $2,000 a year!
2) environment friendly! No diapers added to the landfills!
3) diaper rashes are less frequent! Because of the natural/organic materials the baby butt is less likely to get a diaper rash! Yay!

Now, I haven't always CD Lily. Actually the habit it fairly new but recently I've had to get creative on ways to save money! cloth diapers aren't instant gratifying products though, so please don't get it confused! You have to spend some to save a lot! I currently have 4 pocket CDs with snaps and 10 prefolds. Pockets are more expensive then prefolds but if you don't want to spend ANY money and use materials you already possess, then you can! T-shirts, receiving blankets and old scarves are great examples of things you can use to make your own! All you need is some folding skills and some pins! Also, If your handy with a sewing machine, you can certainly sew your own! There are tons of different ways you can put fluff on your child bum and every way saves you money and mother nature!

So, back to the sacrifices! Most women who cloth diaper their baby's butt have washers and driers but there are few whom don't and I am one of them. I have to hand wash and line dry her diapers EVERYDAY! Its hard an time consuming but well worth it! I have to scrape poop, blot diarrhea, and ring out the urine. It's not easy and before I try to get another mother I CD I always tell them to do research to see if this is right for them! It's not for everyone but some find it the best decision ever. I hope to make the transition to full time CD once I build my stash up but until then I fluff her butt everyday when I can. I don't usually CD Lily when we are out and about or at other houses. Mainly because I don't have a Wetbag yet! Cloth diapers can make a difference, you have to open your mind up to the amazing idea that saving money and the planet can be fulfilling!


So if you need advice, I'll try and give it and if you have advice, I'll take it!

How to survive a C-section: part 3

I awoke for the 2 time since my doctor had told me I was in desperate need of an emergency cesarean. Maybe it was the 3rd or 4th but after being so exhausted and surviving a very scary surgery, I felt as though my brain was being filled with clouds coagulating my sanity and memories into puffy mush. I looked around this insanely small room. I don't even think it was considered a room because the rooms on either side of my "room" we're divided by curtains. What the fuck? Where was I? And where in the hell was my baby. I kept asking the older nurse who was giving me a horribly painful sponge bath where my baby was. Where was my Lily? They kept telling me she was in the special care nursery but I kept asking. Minuets ticked away at the clock as the nurses pushed on my stomach and cleaned blood from my body. I didn't even care that I was was laying in my own blood, sweat and amniotic fluids that broke a day before, all I cared about was when I was going to meet my daughter. I was in so much pain and I asked for more pain medicine and then For lily, more medicine and for Lily. I felt like a prisoner in this tiny room. Like I was an insane patient asking the dear nurses the same questions. My epidural acted as its own hell of a straight jacket. The last thing I recalled from the surgery was passing out because I thought I was having a heart attack. That was around 8:58am when Lily was born. It was almost noon. Before I could freak out I heard a familiar voice that soon had been put with a familiar face that was pushing an unfamiliar cart with the most beautiful creature I had ever laid eyes on. I was meeting my daughter. She was here and I was never going to let go. My mom carefully placed Lily in my arms. The act that had freaked me out seemed so natural. I hugged and kissed her. I was very upset about the way my birth plan crumbled before my eyes but despite the pain I went through and am still going through I know that surviving a c-section is as simple as the love for your child. Lily is the reason I was strong enough to go through that horrifying experience. Not a moment went by during those 28 hours that I didn't stop and think about why I was facing my fears. That c-section proved that I could put another's life before mine because of love. I can be in excruciating pain because of love. I survived a c-section because I love.

How to survive a C-Section: part 2

As I looked around the OR at all the different medical staff hovering over my body trying to catch a glimpse at the gory cesarean being performed I began to cry. Pictures of my little garbanzo bean, Lily Evelyn, we're flickering across the OR ceiling. I've been waiting 9 months & 28 hours for her to be in my arms. Why am I being put through all this? woman labor for less then 13 hours and then 10 min later they push their baby out. Why can't I experience that? Why was I being robbed of my beloved experience?
Before I knew it I awoke again. I was still shaking and my teeth were so sore. "when are you going to be done?" I asked my doctor hesitantly.
Suddenly I felt the worst sensation in the world. It didn't hurt because the drugs I was on but i could feel every bit of pressure from them pulling on my skin, stretching my lower abdomen open. And at last I felt this wave, like an ocean wave hitting you in the face. Like the drop on a roller coaster. I felt like this weight was lifted off my chest. I didn't hear a scream but I knew they had gotten her out of me. I cried out and demanded to see her. I saw her go a quick second and they rushed her over to the table 5 feet away from me. That was extremely too far! I haven't been that far away from her in 9 months. They need to give her to me, I thought. My mom let go of my hand to go take a peak at her granddaughter but ultimately (as I later found out) to block my view of the machines they were hooking my daughter up to.
I lifted my arms off the table and tried pushing myself up. I was ready to see my daughter. "are we done here?" I asked, my eyes glued on my daughter.
"No, about 30 more minutes. I have to close you up." my doctor replies and I rested my head down.
"my heart Is beating too fast!" I exclaimed. "I need to get out of here!"
Everyone kept reassuring me that I was okay but I felt like I was going to die. I couldn't breathe. I felt like someone had injected an overdose of speed into my heart. My heart rate was in fact decreasing. The last thing I saw before I passed out was that bright light. I couldn't believe that this was how the magical day my daughter was born had turned out.

How to survive a C-section: part 1

When I got pregnant in January 2011 I Had my birth plan set in stone and I was so excited to become a mother. Everything from prenatal vitamins to yoga. I wanted the perfect vaginal delivery with pain medications. My pain tolerance was lower then the number 0. I was terrified of giving birth vaginally but I was so excited to give birth the way God intended my body to do. I always said, "I am blessed to be a woman because I get to experience labor and delivery." as painful and long it is, nonetheless a wonderful rapturous gift. I was prepared for the tearing. I was ready for my 20 year old vagina to be forever changed. I was most importantly ecstatic and ready for pushing my daughter out into the world, possibly pulling her the rest of the way with my hands. She was going to enter the world with her mother holding her and it was an absolute dream come true. Except that's exactly what it was, a dream.
On October 11, 2011 after laboring for 26 hours and pushing for an hour and a half my doctors where getting worried. I didn't know that there was something wrong. I was in so much pain, my back felt like glass was grinding against my spine, I was so tired and images of my daughter were dancing around behind my eye lids as I closed my eyes for my last push. My mom grabbed my hand. I looked up at the dim lights above my hospital bed. An oxygen mask was being placed on my face and doctors were running around the room in a calm manner. I was oblivious to the fact that something was seriously wrong.
"what's going on?" I croked, out Of breathe I was and extremely sweaty.
Suddenly my Doctor who has been by my side for months doing the weekly vaginal exams, hooking me up to non stress tests and stopping my pre term labor was by my side once again. Then I knew, something was wrong.
"Natalie." he calmly said in a smooth doctor voice that says -I'm about to tell you something horrible but I'm trying to make it as painless as possible- "There are some complications regarding The baby's position and it's causing her to go Into stress. Her heart rate is dropping. We're going to have to perform an emergency cesarean or try retrieving her with forceps."
What? This isn't part of my plan. This must be a terrible nightmare. I'll wake up any moment and the doctors will tell me they can see Lily's head, she's almost here! It has to be a nightmare because this isn't how things were supposed to be.
"Natalie, what will it be?" My doctor asked. He sounded frustrated, like he's asked me this question already.
I turned to my mom. "what should I do?" I asked her terrified.
"I cant tell you what to decide Natalie but forceps can really screw up a baby and it may not work." My mom replied in haste. She held my hand very tight. My mom wasn't a very affectionate person but she made it clear that moment the love.
"I guess I'll have the c-section.." I mumbled and looked up at the ceiling, I began to sob. Everything seemed to move rather quickly after that. Doctors and nurses and med students were chattering away and bumping me up first on the OR list. A woman was jabbing needles in my thighs, waist and calves. I was crying an holding onto my moms hand for dear life as I shifted the oxygen mask that was on my face. I closed my eyes for just a moment, I swear it was a moment! I lifted my lids and I was starring up at the brightest light I had ever seen.
"where's my mom?" I exclaimed in panic. I was shaking uncontrollably and my teeth were chattering like broken glass. My hand felt warm and I looked over and my mom was standing by my side in scrubs from head to toe. My oxygen mask was gone and my mom looked at me with confidence but it was clearly masking her worry.
"your going to feel some pressure Natalie." My doctor said calmly from behind the blue sheets hanging below my neck. He has been trained so well in situations like this, his confidence calmed me a little. But, it quickly wore off as soon as I felt that blade glide across my lower abdomen. I was panicking again. My heart felt like it was going to explode out of my chest. I was so sure I was having a heart attack.
"mom, I can't do this." I cried out. Nurses from all different directions swarmed towards me. What the fuck? I thought.
"You need to calm down Natalie" they all put their hands on my shoulders and another grabbed my other hand.

Crocheted hats

These hats are simple, cute and very inexpensive! If you don't know the basics on crocheting then I suggest a starter kit from Boye. It comes with 5 hooks, a box of stitch markers, yarn needles, a book explaining the basic stitches and basic patterns, and a tutorial DVD. Very simple and amazingly helpful. Also, YouTube has a wide selection of beginners crocheting videos to help you learn.

So let's get started on the material you'll need to make this comfy purple winter hats without puff ball. (I'll post pictures)
1) homespun yarn Bulky(any color of your desire that they carry.
2) H hook.
3) stitch markers.
4) yarn needles.
5)scissors.

Okay now we're ready to get started on making your hat! (crocheting in the round)

1.) start by making a chain of 4 stitches. Join the ends by making a slip stitch in the first stitch.

2.) you'll end up with a little ring of yarn. Chain 3.

3.) Now make 9 double crochets right into the center of the ring.

4.) Find one of your stitch markers and slip it onto the stitch that's on your hook(the 9th one). Now make 2 double crochets into the space between that first string of chains and the first double crochet.

5.) now make 2 double crochets in the best stitch and in every stitch around. Stop when you get to the stitch marker.

6.) you've just finished the second round. starting with the stitch with your marker on it, count to be sure you have 20 stitches.

7.) Move your market to the loop on your hook, then REPEAT the stitches listed below all the way around.

•1 double crochet in the next stitch
•2 double crochets in the following stitch.

8.) stop when you get to your marker. Count to be sure you have 30 stitches now.

9.) move your market to the loop on your hook and start on the 4th round. REPEAT the stitches bellow all the way around. They're different from the last round.

•1 double crochet in the next 2 stitches
•2 double crotchets in the following stitch

10.) Stop when you come to your marker. Count that you have 40 stitches now.

11.) move your marker to the loop on your hook and start the 5th round. Repeat the stitches bellow all the way around.

•1 double crochet in the next 3 stitches
•2 double crochets in the following stitch

12.) stop when you come to your marker. You should have 50 stitches.

13.) move your marker to the loop on your hook, and start the last round of increases. Repeat the stitches bellow all the way around.

•1 double crochet in the next 4 stitches
•2 double crochets in the following stitch

14.) stop when you come to your marker. You should have 60 stitches.

15.) you've finished the hard part! Move your marker down a row so it's out of your way but marks the end of the round. Make a double crochet in every stitch around and around. Stop when your hat is desired length.

16.) slip stitch to finish off the hat.

Congratulations! You've finished your hat!