How to survive a C-section: part 3

I awoke for the 2 time since my doctor had told me I was in desperate need of an emergency cesarean. Maybe it was the 3rd or 4th but after being so exhausted and surviving a very scary surgery, I felt as though my brain was being filled with clouds coagulating my sanity and memories into puffy mush. I looked around this insanely small room. I don't even think it was considered a room because the rooms on either side of my "room" we're divided by curtains. What the fuck? Where was I? And where in the hell was my baby. I kept asking the older nurse who was giving me a horribly painful sponge bath where my baby was. Where was my Lily? They kept telling me she was in the special care nursery but I kept asking. Minuets ticked away at the clock as the nurses pushed on my stomach and cleaned blood from my body. I didn't even care that I was was laying in my own blood, sweat and amniotic fluids that broke a day before, all I cared about was when I was going to meet my daughter. I was in so much pain and I asked for more pain medicine and then For lily, more medicine and for Lily. I felt like a prisoner in this tiny room. Like I was an insane patient asking the dear nurses the same questions. My epidural acted as its own hell of a straight jacket. The last thing I recalled from the surgery was passing out because I thought I was having a heart attack. That was around 8:58am when Lily was born. It was almost noon. Before I could freak out I heard a familiar voice that soon had been put with a familiar face that was pushing an unfamiliar cart with the most beautiful creature I had ever laid eyes on. I was meeting my daughter. She was here and I was never going to let go. My mom carefully placed Lily in my arms. The act that had freaked me out seemed so natural. I hugged and kissed her. I was very upset about the way my birth plan crumbled before my eyes but despite the pain I went through and am still going through I know that surviving a c-section is as simple as the love for your child. Lily is the reason I was strong enough to go through that horrifying experience. Not a moment went by during those 28 hours that I didn't stop and think about why I was facing my fears. That c-section proved that I could put another's life before mine because of love. I can be in excruciating pain because of love. I survived a c-section because I love.